"Is sugar in everything?", my 7-year-old daughter asked at the breakfast table yesterday.
My husband, a high school Physics and Chemistry teacher, responded yes and then went on to explain that all food is derived from plants which make sugar from carbon dioxide and water. This sugar then forms chains that make up much of the plant material, which is then consumed and modified again in the bodies of animals. But if it’s got plant, then yes it’s got sugar.
Well, crap - right? Sugar is something we're supposed to "watch" and in many cases, abhor as parental figures responsible for the healthy development of our children. And now, it is in everything? Crap.
But, my point isn't sugar and chemical transformations.
It is that my daughter's question reminded me of having asked, "Is everything resistance?" when we first started our textbook topic presentations with Penny's introduction to resistance. Looking back on what I was feeling at that point in the semester, undoubtedly I asked that question with a cynical undertone. Crap - resistance is everywhere, our "resistance to resistance is futile" - Crap. Now, how is my practice supposed to progress or improve?
What a difference a few weeks makes...! Besides the value that Block provided in teaching us to recognize the different possible physical expressions of resistance, I can see now the value of resistance. It is a reflection of the emotional work that the client is doing. When expressed, it can reflect their effort and investment. But, even more so, it represents a real fear, worry or need that we as "helpers" can acknowledge, name and help the client process.
Yes, resistance can block and tackle us especially when our technical predilections lead us to naturally focus on the facts and figures instead of listening to the verbal cues and watching for nonverbal body language. It can also lead us to want to take over as doctor or as lead actor in the play. (Metaphors borrowed from Block & Schein.) But, instead, we are urged to practice a little resistance ourselves, and "resist" that opportunity to move "one-up". We want to stay in close, authentic relationship so that we can better understand their needs, fears and desires and ultimately help them to help themselves.
So, I'll just co-opt my husband's expression and embrace it: "If it's a client, it has resistance."
The "everything" expression that I didn't struggle with was, "Everything is an intervention." That Schein principle doesn't frustrate me because it gives me permission to be a participant in the process and to be in relationship with the client. In the interest of full disclosure, I have never had to competitively respond to a RFP for an organizational diagnosis. If I had, perhaps I would be just as cynical and even willing to argue that a consultant can come in, observe and leave again, for a fee of course.
But, really, the process consulting method has given me permission to be confident and comfortable with the idea that the "relationship" is a naturally occurring need for me as a consultant. In past consulting roles, I always hesitated to put myself out there until I felt on firm ground in my personal understanding of the client and now, I can say that is OK.
When I reflected on past missteps in the "Who's the Client?" exercise, I realized that my lack of relationship (in which my physical distance from Fairbanks AK was only half the problem) and understanding of the ultimate and unwitting clients was at the root of the discomfort I felt with the project. It is also undoubtedly the reason why I can be sure that my product is still sitting on the shelf of the organization for which it was developed.
As much as I know that the relationship is critical for me, I am also "hard-wired" to need tools and checklists. This semester with Schein & Block has provided critical support for this side of my brain too, in particular, via the Active Inquiry technique. The different phases of inquiry guide me to interact progressively to encourage the client's learning and adaptive response instead of to jump into the "I'll tell ya' the problem AND fix-it" mode. Since it is so difficult to use consistently, I have begun to practice the technique with family members. Since practice makes perfect, I hope to become proficient enough to use it as a tool when I return to work after graduation.
Sugar, resistance and intervention is everywhere and gratefully, my HR practice will never be the same!
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These are really good concepts to underpin a philosophy of practice, Rachel. I guess that the point is, heck, if there wasn't resistance, it wouldn't be worth it. It is, like sugar, an essential part of our structures, something that both fuels us and becomes us (just like sugar!).
ReplyDeleteBTW, I saw a documentary the other night called "King Corn" in which two college students sought to understand why much of us is "corn" (and sugar, of course!). Perhaps it could be said that, these days, if we eat it, it's pretty much corn. Sugar sounds so much better.